Random Thoughts

I am about to just write about random things today. Things that have been on my mind lately or maybe I am just making it up as I go along.

Let's start with why I am so tired today. Yes I was up until almost 1am because I decided to watch a movie that I had seen once or twice prior. So I ask myself, Why? The funny thing is, I don't know why, it was on and I justed wanted to watch it again. Knowing that I had to be at work at 7 had no reflection on my choice of staying up. So I guess I will be tired at work all day, or at least until work is over then that 2nd and 3rd wind kick in.

So today at work I am wearing Dawgs, which to those who don't know is a variation of the Croc rubber shoes. Why am I wearing them to work, you might be asking. Well let's see, oh yeah now I remember, my runners have dog shit on them and I haven't cleaned them yet. Nuf said.

Well the week is finally over and I am done for the week. Not sure what I have more to say, but I promise to write more.

Birthdays

So I guess I have a big birthday coming up and everyone wants to make a big deal about it. I have never been obsessed with the age thing. Yes I am turning 50 in a few short days, but it doesn’t change a thing about me. I am still the same person; I have just added a ring to my centre like a tree. Cut me open on Friday and you will count 50 rings. Although I am not sure if you cut a tree open just before it aged another year and you would find only a half ring, anyways getting way off track here. I must stay focused.

I remember when my mom turned 50 some 25 years ago and I asked her “So, what does it feel like to be 50?” Her reply was “I still feel like I am 25.” So I decided then and there that is how I will go forward living my life, feeling like I am always 25. I look at people that are my age and I sometimes have to wonder if I look that old. Then there are those that seem to be so much more mature and disciplined then me at this age. I wonder if they have had the fun and adventures that I have had. Ok maybe some irresponsible things have happened to me, but I really have no regrets.

My best friend for the last 27 or so years is also hitting the same milestone as myself, and I know she hasn’t changed the way she lives as she has gotten older. She has lived by that same philosophy as I have. We still do crazy things and we still laugh at the things we did but like me, I know she wouldn’t change the past. Also my partner, although 8 years younger in numbers, will never be an old fuddy duddy, she is and always will be young at heart.

You are probably wondering where I am going with rambling about age. It’s just to say that age is a mind set that can age you faster then the number you are at. Live life to the fullest and don’t worry about how old you are. Live for the minute, because you never know when the minute might run out.

Choices

We all make hundreds of choices each and everyday without ever thinking. So why is there always one choice that stands out over the rest? That single one that could of changed your future path.
Are choices really that or are they destiny? Do we really have that choice to go left or right when we come to the fork in the road or are these so called decisions we think we are making preordained?
Has our future been planned out for us before we are born. Of course in saying this there comes that question if you believe in a greater being.
I am not a believer in a spiritual being out there guiding me on my path. I think that we decide as we go along which route we want to take.
I was once asked, "If you could change anything about your life, what would it be?"
I thought long and hard, because there are a lot of things I would love to change. Stupid mistakes, chances I should of taken or not so many things in my past I would like to change. Then I think, if I could make just one of those changes then where would I be today? Would I be happy? Would I be rich? Hell I could even be dead, of course that would mean I am not writing this right now.
No, I have to say that with all the choices I have made in life and as bad a some of them may of been, just changing one of those would of changed where I am today.
I would not be in place I love, with people I love, and that love me back.
To make a different choice would of put me on a different path and I am glad I never took that other path.

Here come the Oscar's

Well it is day 3 since the Olympic torch was blown out by all those winded speeches. Does anyone really care what is said at the closing ceremonies? We just want to see the athletes and the festivities, so shut them up and bring it on.
Ok enough about the past and let's look forward to what has always been one of my most favourite times of the year, yes it is the Oscar's.
Ever since I can remember I have loved them. I love the red carpet, even though I could care less about fashion. I love the whole spectacle of it. I used to wish that I could one day be in those bleachers watching the stars go by, or better yet be a seat filler. Now just imagine you filling in the seat of Jack Nicholson, Tom Hanks or Meryl Streep. How cool would that be for them to come back and say "excuse me, but your in my seat". It's not that I am obsessed with the actual stars, I wouldn't even know what to say if I ran into one. I just love the whole history of it all.
Every year I have some friends over to watch the event. We start with chocolate martini's among other drinks. There is always a really nice meal with wine and of course a dessert to follow. I make a pool for everyone to enter and then as always, I win it. It is my evening and  I love every minute of it.
So this Sunday I want to listen to the speeches and see the glitz and glamour, because this Sunday the speeches really matter.

Addicted to the Olympics

I am standing in a room of people, most look bleary eyed and tired just like me. I feel drained and yet euphoric at the same time. How can this be? I move up to the podium and stare out into the audience, I stutter as I say my name. "Hello, my name is Janine and I am an Olympicholic" Yes you read that right, I am addicted to the Olympics and everything about them. I watch all the events, not just the chosen ones that are put up by the main broadcasters. Not just the elite high profile stuff, no I have to see everything.
Of course the crowd before me says hi back and wave their flags and stand and cheer. I then begin to tell my tale of making hockey schedules for my friends for our time zone so they won't miss a game. I have the TV and a laptop going so I can watch every event so I don't miss one of Canada's athletes. I cry when we win and I cheer for the ones who miss the podium knowing they have given their all. I haven't missed an anthem and have even left my friends to go home to see it being played. Why you ask, because I have tears every time our flag flies and our song is played.
Sleep is not an option for me, I am up till the last event is played and while at work, I am logged in to see the first ones in the morning. Come Monday when it is all over and everyone has gone home, I will sit on my couch staring at the TV and wonder why? Why is it over? How many sleeps before it is on again? I look at the next Winter Olympics and start to figure out the time difference and wonder how will I get through that one. Maybe I will just take holidays or maybe I will be in this room again in 4 years staring out at the same bleary eyed faces and saying it again . "Hello, my name is Janine and I am an Olympicholic"!