Is anyone acrually reading this?

It's a snowy cold Saturday night and I am having a cocktail listening to sad songs. Why you may ask, well there is something about a sad song that makes me feel. They can make my heart ache from being alone. Although i am fine with being alone but sometimes I miss the company. I love Mary Chapin Carpenter's song "The Way I Feel" it is sort of my anthem in life as getting in my car and going somewhere or nowhere is great as long as I have the music. Being in my car and driving is my happy place. No thoughts, just the music and the sing along as I go. Not sure where i am going with this tonight but I felt the need to express and so I type away. So many great songs I am listening to it makes it hard to concentrate on my thoughts as I sing along, I once went and sw a therapist at the urging of a co-wirker and it actually did me wonders. It was probably the first time in my life that I was open and honest with someone, I am someone who keeps their feelings deep down inside me and only show the fun loving side of myself. Not even my family knows the depths of my thoughts (no suicide thoughts in case you were worried), JUst I don't want people to be worried about me as they usually have their own things to worry about, so why burden them with mine. I often wonder if people would miss me if I wasn;t there. This is more of a work question as I don't really belong to a department but help out in all of them. i am the receprionist and therefore some days can be very long if I don't have other work assigned to me and so I play solitaire or go on social media. Well thats all for tonight. Thanks for reading, if anyine actually is.

Random Thoughs

It has been some time since my last blog and I thought it was time to start it up again. The question is where to start. I am sitting here right now watching one of my favorite movies "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel". "Everything is alright in the end and if it's not alright then it is not the end". One of the best comments ever in a movie that I coukd completely agree upon. When you watch a movie, especially a romance or as they call them a "romcom" you want your life to be like that but of course it is not. You could be the beauty who thinks they are not or the ugly duckling who never finds love but either way you are lonely looking for love. I have always felt like a duckling. People expect and want so much from people now a days. We should all be perfect and ready to take on the world. Life could be like a movie if you want it bit really it will never happen. Princess Bride - where is my Miricale Max to save the day? You Got Mail - meeting the person you have a connection with on line and making life changes. Strictly Ballroom - could I ever be the novice dancer that finds love? Of course I could name a lot of 80's and 90's movies, just thinking of John Hughes movies alone could make you think of what could have been. How many people wish they lived the life based on a movie? I find that movies now lack that romcom feel. Everything is Marvel or SciFi or just has no interest to me. I miss the fun movies that could make you laugh and cry at the same time. Then there is music. I am a lover of the 70's music becasue that is what I grew up with. I have several different playlists that have a variety of music genres on them. Classical to rock, country and everything inbetween. In mym ar it is a contiuous concert of me belting out tunes as I travel the roads. I don't care who sees me. In fact when you look around at other drivers they all seem angry, bored or just blah. They need to turn up the volume and enjoy whatever they are listening to. Well that is it for today but I feel I might be doing these observations more and more. Stay tuned.

The Road Less Travelled

I love taking my camera and just going for a drive. I can be sitting at home on the weekend and I get bored with what I am watching or doing so I grab my camera and off I go.
The thing about this is there is no trip planned or no map drawn out to see where I should go. My last trip included getting gas a road pop and a burger. From there I took a grid road west and took it until I could only go east or west from there.
I wasn't worried as I knew the basics as to where I am. I didn't need GSP or even a map that I would usually reply upon. I had the windows open, the tunes playing and my camera ready to make my trip memorable as always.
The abandon farm houses, empty mail boxes and the fawn and her mom near by on the warm Sunday afternoon made me want to never have my trip to end.
Wind in my hair and a road forever going could make anyone want to keep on going and never turn back. It is true that sometimes the best trips to take are the ones that are not on a map. Just go as it feels and maybe remember how you got there just in case you need to return. I love the trip and the unknown as I am driving. Dead ends, rivers or just simply private property can stop my trip for going forward, but I just make a slight turn and boom I have found something new.
I sometimes wish life could be like that and if you want it to be it can. You just have to know when it is time to make that change in direction. Be happy and enjoy the ride.

So today I have a very eye opening and life changing day.

My day started as it usually, get up, shower, feed the dogs, forget to make lunch and head to work. This is my basic day every workday with very little changes. Yes, sometimes my bed holds me hostage and the shower gets left out and then I just wet my hair down but I still make it to work by 8am even though I don't work til 8:30. This is actually an important note to make as you read on. There are not a lot of people out there that I know that can honestly say they love their job and or the company they work for, but I can.

So as I said my day started out as most of them do, they only change in my work day is the fact that someone from our head office in Edmonton was coming in to teach myself and a co-worker some new things, as we have both taken on some new responsibilities with out jobs. The bonus about her coming means that our boss may take us all out for supper tonight so I even bring a change of clothes just in case.

After lunch a phone call comes in for my boss and although he was busy I was to tell him it was an emergency. I interupt his call and soon enough he calls our trainer to the boardroom. From there life takes on a new meaning and how precious it is. She has been informed that her son has been killed. The sound of her grief coming from down the hall could make the hardest heart feel even a little of what she must of been feeling. No parent should ever have to get that call. From there it was a matter of how quickly we could get her home to her husband. I checked flights and I found a direct one but not till 6pm. My boss says book it than says wait. He makes some calls than says book it to me again and than he says cancel it. He calls head office and it is agreed between them that private jet has been arranged at the companys expense and my boss and his wife will accompany her. This goes beyond anything a company has ever done and it was all done just to make sure she got home in the most caring way possible.

This is why I work where I work. Lots of places claim they are like family, but here we really are. This is the reason I come in early so that I am there to start taking the calls and to see everyone and just be there.

So when you see how such a normal day can change your world upside down, remember how quickly it can change. Cherish the fact that you woke up and you got to feed your dogs or kids and you had time to shower or not. Remember that life is precious and can change in a heartbeat or a blink of an eye. Remember to always tell those you care about that you love them. I know I never end a phone call with my mom without saying that.

Random Thoughts Again

As the summer goes and the leaves start to change, I feel that I am like those leaves and changing too. I am on my own once again and I'm ok with that. It seems I like being on my own more than being with someone, maybe doing it for 30 years made me a pro at it. Although this time around I have 3 dogs to keep me company and entertained and most of all they make me feel loved. There is truly nothing better than coming home and being greeted by them. I can hardly get in the door before they are there to attack me.

On a different thought thread; have you ever thought why you would by 1 pl, 2 ply or 3 ply toilet paper when really everyone still takes the same amount of the roll? Just aying is all.

How about some CFL football talk? My team is starting to show some life after a month of total self implosion. I am glad Buck Pierce is back, he is the leader the team needs. Yes there are a lot of Buck haters or doubters but the man plays with intensity and heart. Wasn't happy with the coaching change but then that is professional football and I have no control over it. I will support the new coach just as I have all the others and hope things will improve. For the fans that keep wanting Mack fired, give up already. If it happens it won't be until the end of the season. You are only hurthng the team and the players but not supporting. A true fan never jumps on and off the band wagon and true fan is always there no matter what.

New TV season has started and yes, I am a TV junkie. I have my past favorites and sometimes it's hard to try something new, but isn't that the same in life. Just glad to say that PVR is my friend and I can schedule anything and everthing and test the waters so to speak. Everyone say it now "PVR is my lifeline".

New random thought. Why don't people in Saskatchewan know how to merge? They just don't seem to get it.

Well that is all for now and I hope to be back soon. Please feel free to comment, good or bad,I can take it.

You Think I Don't Know

She walks into your room and your demeanor changes.
You are different when she is around.
She speaks and you are lost in her.
I see this because that was you when I was the one.
I know that you have moved on in a way that I can't stop and am ready to say goodbye.

I always said if there was another then I was gone. I meant that because I can never trust you again.

I knew that when I was away that you had changed. I think you don't know that I am on to your new affections, but I am.

These are things I knew back in July, my thoughts I wrote down but not to share. Well times and things have changed and so have I. You have moved on and I am fine with that. What we had, will never be again because it can't be repaired. We may still stay friends but that is all we will ever be and that is why I am sad today. To know that we were once one and that people were jealous of our relationship and now are in disbelief of what we have become. Never thought we would not be together, but that is what it is and always will be.

Well you have chosen your path and I will choose mine. I hope that you find happiness and I will do the same.

Just Some More Random Thoughts

It has been some time since I last posted something and I promise to do more of it in the future. I guess if I made New Years resolutions, this could be one of them. Not that anything I have to say is of any consequence to any of you who might actually read it. For all I know it is just something I do to clear my head from time to time.

Did you ever have a song that when you heard it you can remember where it was you heard it for the first time, who you were with, what you were doing? Well that just happened to me and a particular song. It's one of those memories that puts a smile on your face and you reflect on the fun you had. That's why I love music, I love that it can change my mood from happy to sad and then back again. Sometimes I hear a song and right away I have to call that friend to share it with them. I have a couple of friends I do that with and there have been many times when I check my messages and all I get is the song, no message just the song. I instantly know who called and it always puts a smile on my face. So to those friends (and you know who you are) I say thank you for all the great memories, I just we could see each other more so we can create more .